


So It Goes...

by lotrspnfangirl



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Light Angst, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-06 08:27:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17936306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl
Summary: Jared Padalecki appeared to be the stereotypical army brat -- coming from a good amount of money, a strong family unit, with Daddy always getting him out of trouble. He bragged about the drugs he'd tried, the girls (and guys) he'd slept with, and things that he'd pocketed from various stores. He was everything Jensen Ackles parents warned him to stay away from. And yet... Jensen was captivated by him.Through his facade, Jared was smart and kind, beautiful and special. Jensen knew that there was more to this boy than met the eye. He was bound and determined to let Jared realize his worth, and maybe, he'd realize some of his own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Huge shoutout to Rundle for bidding on me for the FicFacers$ charity auction!! I hope this is everything you hoped it would be ♥
> 
> Thank you to Mari, Twiana, and Lisa for holding my hand and helping me out when I needed it!
> 
> A little delay on this... I lost my dog during the writing/editing process and struggled through doing anything fandom-wise. I hope to get everything up ASAP and will post as soon as they get back from being proof read :) 
> 
> Title inspired by [So It Goes by Taylor Swift ](https://genius.com/Taylor-swift-so-it-goes-lyrics)

The noise in the morning was always far too loud and happy for seven thirty. Jensen didn’t know how half of his classmates were so energetic this early. Even with two cups of coffee already down and a travel mug half empty, sitting on his desk, if he were given the choice to go home and crawl back into bed? He would take that in a heartbeat.

Monday morning homerooms were honestly a waste of time. They crammed a thirty-minute class in once a week to give updates on what was going on at El Paso High and in their community. It’s not like anything ever changed -- it was all about the football team, or spirit week, or warning the Seniors about trying to spend the weekend in Mexico and sneaking back in tequila or something equally stupid. Jensen knew about most of their ‘updates’ because he was a part of the High School Newspaper team – something that would look good on his college application.

And that was another reason why he got himself up and came into school Monday mornings, despite his next class being an open period that he would get to sit in the library for. On Tuesday and Thursday, he was able to sleep in and come into school for 9:15 instead, but missing a class? Even as mundane as Homeroom? His parents wouldn’t have any of that. Imagine if that went on the record somewhere!

Hell, if his mother didn’t work from home and knew that Jensen spent the extra time in the mornings sleeping for an extra hour and a half, he was sure that he would’ve been made to come into school regardless of his class schedule.

“Skipping class is the first gateway, kids!”

Josh, Jensen, and Mackenzie had all heard about how it was the first step to drugs and alcohol and getting into trouble. Working for Homeland Security and stationed at the border, their father came home with countless stories about kids their age messing around at the border, daring one another to spend the day in Juarez, getting back before the end of the school day. Jensen thought this was probably the stupidest game anyone could want to play, especially since Juarez oozed cartel presence. Their mother shared similar stories about seeing high school kids when she ran to the store during the day, leaning against the brick walls of the gas station smoking. And she was _positive_ they weren’t old enough to buy tobacco.

Skipping class was bad, getting into college was good.

Jensen clicked his pen, returning to the corner of his notebook to scratch today’s date in. On the off-chance Mrs. Branson had something worth noting, he wanted to be ready.

“Alright, alright,” Mrs. Branson said over the sound of the bell, as if that would quiet the rest of the class, “let’s make this quick and then we can socialize, okay?”

Jensen bit back the snort and focused on looking interested. She gave him a smile and a wink, so mission accomplished. Beside him, Christian Kane rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded a hell of a lot like “pussy” under his breath.

Jensen ignored him.

“So, this morning, I think there’s just a few updates…” the teacher continued, the printed email she’d probably received just an hour before crinkled as she unfolded it.

Jensen tuned her out, sketching a Celtic cross in the upper corner of his notebook. _Homecoming formal is coming up, three more weeks. The student store is closed due to a leak in the ceiling. If students don’t stop crossing across the street to smoke at the convenience store, campus will be on lock down from 7-3 and no one will be able to get Al’s pizza for lunch._

He knew everything she was going to say. He was just starting to color in the background around the cross when the classroom door opened, the entire room falling eerily silent.

This was new.

“Hi Mrs. Branson!” Danneel Harris beamed as she entered, her head held high enough that Jensen knew she was on a mission from the office. She smiled and gave a wave when she saw him, then returned her attention to the teacher. “I have a new student with me! Principal Armstrong said he emailed you?”

“Oh, yes! Jared Pada-lack-”

“It’s Padalecki.”

Jensen’s eyes widened at the boy who entered behind Danneel, barely noticing the tense, irritated look that crossed her face before the smile was back. He met her eyes once, nodding slightly that yes, they would talk later, before he returned to the newcomer.

The boy was tall, pushing at least six feet, and dressed head to toe in black. He wore heavy combat boots and thick, dark jeans, a ripped band shirt was covered by a black jacket that Jensen was sure was leather. His hair was longer, falling into his eyes, and he flipped his head back, making Jensen choke on his spit.

The guy was hot. Like, unfairly so for someone who put off such a strong “fuck off” attitude. He looked bored, his eyes barely going around the room before he looked back at Mrs. Branson.

“Well, Jared, welcome to El Paso High! I’m Mrs. Branson, I’ll be your homeroom teacher and a good resource for you for your senior year. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?”

“Are you really going to make me do this?” Jared sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, the -surprise- black backpack he was carrying, falling from his shoulder and swinging on his elbow.

“We would all love to get to know you!” Mrs. Branson replied with a tight smile, leaving little room for negotiation.

Jared sighed again, then smiled condescendingly. “Well, if you insist.” He turned away from her, looking over the room again, and Jensen felt his heart jump when Jared’s eyes landed on him, despite it passing by after a second or two. “I’m single,” he started, winking, and Jensen saw Mrs. Branson jerk up from her desk. “I’m interested, too. My parents fucking suck, as I’m sure most of you can relate.”

There was a nervous chuckle in the back of the room and Jensen could relate. He stared, unsure if he should laugh, if he even could laugh.

“If you have tits, or weed, please hit me up.” Jared grinned wide, his eyes lingering on Genevieve in the front row before he turned to look behind him. “Don’t worry, Mrs. B, I’ll take myself to the principal. Don’t worry D, I got this.”

He hiked his backpack back onto his shoulder, passing by Danneel with another smirk before he left the room, leaving behind a heavy silence.

Then, Christian Kane burst into laughter, causing the rest of the classroom to erupt in sound. Mrs. Branson tried to regain control but gave up and turned to talk in a hushed voice to Danneel.

“God, that guy is fucking awesome,” Christian said with another laugh.

Jensen nodded his head. He had to agree.

 

 

 

Throughout the rest of the day, Jensen was distracted. He couldn’t pay attention to half of his classes, and what he did pay attention to, he couldn’t remember. He at least was able to jot down the assignments in his notebook, but he knew that he was in for a long night, playing catch up for the classes he had tomorrow.

Every corner he turned, every classroom he walked into, he kept his eyes open for Jared. He didn’t see him until the end of lunch.

“Have you seen the new kid?”

Jensen looked up as Misha slid his tray onto their table, immediately picking up his apple and crunching into it as he sat. Jensen shook his head as his best friend wiped the back of his hand across his chin, shrugging once before licking the juice from his hand.

“Yeah, I saw him. He’s in my homeroom,” Jensen answered after a moment. They both looked up as a tray slammed down on the other side of Jensen and Danneel sat down with a huff.

“Saw him? God, I had to show him around this morning! He’s completely and totally inappropriate and irresponsible!” she seethed, flipping her hair over her left shoulder before glancing between them. “He asked if my boobs were real. I’m not even kidding! I hadn’t even told him my _name_ yet.”

Misha snorted, shaking his head as he said, “Sounds like my kinda guy. What’s his deal?”

“Who knows,” Danneel rolled her eyes, reaching forward to rip the top from her pudding cup, “but I overheard them talking in the office and I know he’s living on base. So, I am going to assume Daddy’s deployed and he’s angry at the world.”

“Assumptions aren’t very kind, Danneel.”

The three of them froze, all turning to look at the end of the table where Jared stood, smirking back at them. He carried an energy drink and a protein bar and Jensen had the sudden urge to ask him to sit.

“Well,” Danneel replied, her face turning bright red, “assumptions are perfectly normal, thank you very much. It’s how we judge people, which is why first impressions are so important. You might want to work on yours.”

“And how do you know I didn’t plan my first impression to be just the way I wanted it to be?”

“Oh, so you _wanted_ the entire school to think you’re a man-whore and a _jerk_?”

“Danni,” Jensen signed, glaring at her for a moment before looking up at Jared. The other boy seemed completely unfazed, his smile the first genuine one that Jensen had seen from him.

“If the shoe fits, baby girl.”

Danneel scowled and Jared simply laughed, cracking the top of his energy drink and taking a healthy sip. Then he winked at Jensen before spinning on his heel and walking away.

“Jensen?”

Jensen jumped slightly, ripping his eyes away from the spot Jared had just been in and finding Misha staring at him from across the table, an amused expression on his face.

“What?”

Misha shook his head slowly, his smile widening, and Jensen felt his cheeks flush.

“Misha, cut it out,” Danneel said, still irritated, and shoved her spoon into her pudding. “Jensen, quit staring before Misha thinks you want in that loser’s pants.”

Jensen flushed a deeper red, turning his head down immediately to his try, but he could _feel_ Misha’s smirk widen and knew his best friend caught it.

“Yeah, Jensen, wouldn’t want me to think that’s what you wanted.”

“Misha! Jensen has standards, okay? There’s no way that _that_ is what he would officially come out of the closet for. Right, Jensen?” Danneel turned to him and Jensen muttered something he hoped sounded like agreement before he started shoving his sandwich into his mouth.

Misha laughed but changed the subject, kicking Jensen’s leg once under the table to let him know they would continue the conversation later. He nodded slightly, letting his friends talk over him and tried his best not to think about the lingering look Jared gave him before he walked away.

 

 

 

Jensen had given up on seeing Jared again until he walked into Chemistry and saw the boy in question sitting at the desk beside his. Jensen felt his eyes widen, and of course, that was when Jared looked up and met his eyes.

Jared smiled and Jensen was glad he didn’t trip right then and there. As he slid into his seat, he held his breath, watching as Jared leaned closer into his space.

“I don’t think your girlfriend likes me very much.”

Jensen stared, confused for a moment. “I don’t have… do you mean, Danneel?”

Jared snorted and nodded, laying his arm over the back of Jensen’s chair and cocking his head to the side. “Well, that explains it even more. She wants you and you’re not interested.”

“Danni doesn’t like me like that,” Jensen argued. “She’s been my best friend since I moved here.”

Jared gave a shrug, his arm brushing the back of Jensen’s shoulder and making him shiver. Part of him wanted to shove the new kid away from him, the other wanted the lean back against his arm…

“Do you really care if she likes you?”

Jared turned his head, meeting Jensen’s eyes for a moment. There was a flash of something before the cocky smirk was back. “Course not. People love me or they hate me, don’t really give a fuck. Hell, I’m usually gone before anyone can even make up their minds, anyway.”

“Army family, right?”

Jared scowled and withdrew, leaning back against the seat of his own chair and turning his attention to the front of the class. Their chemistry teacher, Mrs. Carson, was already writing on the board and Jensen had no idea class had even started.

Jensen had no idea what he’d said to piss Jared off, but the demeanor from the other boy was suddenly cold. He swallowed hard, reaching down to unzip his backpack and pull out his notebook. He opened it and smoothed out his assignment page, then dug through his bag for a pen. He kept throwing glances at Jared, who was sitting, unmoving beside him, his eyes trained on the front of the room though Jensen knew he wasn’t paying attention.

He jumped at the sudden surge of movement throughout the class, glancing around quickly to find they’d been tasked with pairing off for an experiment. He looked over at Jared who simply glared back at him, then looked to the side as Genevieve Cortese bounced over.

“Want to be my partner, Jared? We can talk about what we’re going to do for Homecoming!”

Jared’s face smoothed out and he smiled, slipping out of his chair. Genevieve turned away, chatting about the dress she was going to wear as she headed to a lab bench. Jared paused, once, then looked back.

“Gen is taking me to the dance, but I’m hoping I’ll see you there.”

Seemingly forgiven for whatever he’d done, Jensen just nodded, watching as Jared moved away. For the first time ever, he stopped caring about what he was supposed to be doing and pulled out his cell phone instead. He quickly texted Misha and Danni, demanding they get tickets to the dance, too – because like hell would he be going alone – and then forced himself to focus on the rest of the class.


	2. Chapter 2

“This looks stupid.” Jensen ripped the tie from around his throat, crumpling it in his hands. He pointedly ignored Misha’s look from where his best friend was sitting on the end of his bed.

He turned towards the mirror again, running his hand through his hair. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. Jared was probably yanking his chain. The other boy had basically ignored him over the last three weeks, smirking at him and doing this weird, intense stare in Chemistry — their only shared class — while Gen hung off his arm, chattering away. He hadn’t spoken to Jensen since that first morning he arrived.

It didn’t stop Jensen from watching and listening though. He watched as Jared charmed his way into making friends with Christian Kane and Chris’ group of badass, cool kids. He hung out with Chad Michael Murray and Osric Chau, the class clown and top of their class. He laughed at every report of girls he slept with or fooled around with, even the whispers of the few boys which made Jensen’s heart skip. He hung out with Mark Sheppard and Chad Lindberg, smoking joints and stolen cigarettes underneath the bleachers. No matter what cliché, what rumor: everyone seemed enraptured by Jared.

Everyone except Danneel, of course. But even her irritation at how he had acted upon their first meeting had begun to thaw since he saved her from being slammed in the face with a dodge ball. He probably would’ve been golden if he didn’t make a comment about her chest right after.

Still, charming or not, Jared was not someone Jensen should be friends with. He could see his mother's face if she opened the door to see Jared, head to toe in black, his honest-to-god dog collar, chain and spike wallet a screaming beacon to her that this boy meant trouble. She wouldn’t see the boy that stopped bullies dead in their tracks with a glare, the boy who always stood first to turn on the projectors or get supplies from the top shelves in the classrooms. Hell, even though he was still a snarky smart ass, he’d even charmed the teachers into rolling their eyes and ignoring most of his comments.

Jared was funny, smart, and charming. Jensen didn’t know why he tried so hard to put off an exterior that he wasn’t. It frustrated and intrigued Jensen to the point of distraction. He was finding himself spending longer on his homework, simply because he couldn’t focus enough to get started. He wondered what Jared did after school, who he hung out with. 

Misha was suddenly beside him, making him jump, and he gave a small chuckle at the look his friend gave him. 

“You’re impossible,” Misha commented, grabbing Jensen’s arm and turning him around. He swung the tie Jensen had thrown back around his neck, adjusting it beneath Jensen’s collar. 

“I thought you bought the clip ons because you didn’t know how to tie a tie,” Jensen said as Misha adjusted the knot, giving a good tug on the tie before smoothing it down and stepping back. 

Misha smirked and tweaked his own bow tie, shaking his head. “No, I just know how much a real tie is a pain in the ass. These are so much easier.” 

Jensen shrugged, hard pressed to argue, and turned to look at himself in the mirror again. Misha had done his tie perfectly, though he ran his fingers over it as if he were adjusting it anyways. Behind him, Misha was bent over, putting his shoes back on. 

“You can continue stalling, but if Danneel comes up here and finds we’re not ready, she might kill us both.”

Jensen nodded, dropping his hands to his side and moving back to the bed. He sat on the edge, reaching underneath to pull out a box of dress shoes. He forced himself to put them on at a normal speed, and then allowed Misha to lead them out into the hallway. 

Mrs. Ackles was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs, cooing about how ‘sharp’ they looked. They placated her by giving her pictures, all of them individually, coupled off, and as a trio, before Jensen’s dad stepped in and said they were going to be late.

Danneel had somehow convinced her parents to borrow her dad’s BMW, and she skipped down the walkway, pulling they keys from her clutch as she went. Misha grabbed Jensen’s arm, slowing him as they followed after her. 

“You good?” he asked, meeting Jensen’s eyes for a moment. 

“Of course,” Jensen replied automatically, looking away at his friend’s intense gaze. He sighed, knowing Misha knew him better than almost anyone. “Nervous, but you know, I’m good.”

“You don’t have to be,” Misha said, releasing his arm as they got to the side of the car. Danni had already started it up, music thrumming against the windows. “If here’s there, he’s there. If he wants to talk to you, he wants to talk to you. But you’re in control, Jensen.”

Jensen nodded once, reaching for the door handle. He looked back as Misha opened up the back door. “I’m glad you’re coming tonight. I know you didn’t want to.”

“Yeah, well, you twisted my arm and I heard a rumor Vicki was going to be there with some type of protest. I couldn’t miss that.” 

Jensen laughed at the dopey grin that spread over Misha’s face and opened his own door. Danneel barely waited for them to buckle up before she was speeding away.

_“You’re in control, Jensen.”_ At this point, Jensen was convinced more than ever that Misha was on crack. He was very much _not_ in control of anything. 

The dance itself was what he’d expected it to be – an overly loud mix of shitty pop and rap music, the entire student body plastered into the cafeteria and surrounded with the perfume of overused expensive cologne and body odor. There were shimmery dresses that most definitely didn’t fit the dress code and the teachers had given up trying to stop students from grinding on the dance floor. It seemed that as long as people kept their clothing appropriately over their privates, the teachers were content to sit at the back wall and eat the array of cookies and sip the sugary-sweet punch. 

Of course, the moment Jensen walked into the cafeteria, he’d spotted Jared up on the top level, leaning against the railing with Gen pressed up close against him. They were slow dancing to their own song, because the actual music that was playing had a rapid, jumping beat. He’d felt his heart lodge in his throat and immediately felt stupid. 

What had he honestly expected?

Misha, for his part, gave Jensen’s arm a squeeze and dragged him away, getting them both a drink and distracting Jensen by making him help him find Vicki in the crowd. Danneel had stayed with them for all of five minutes before Steve Carlson came up nervously, asking her to dance while staring at her feet. 

Jensen had gotten through two full cups of punch before Misha turned to him with wide eyes, the nervous look strange to see on his usually quirky and confident friend. He nodded and gave what he hoped was a supportive smile as Vicki looped her arm with his and led him to a quieter part of the cafeteria so they could talk. 

Because of the punch, Jensen moved around the outside of the ‘dance floor’ to the men’s room. He stood at the urinal, closing his eyes as he relieved himself, and wondered how long he would have to stay before begging Danneel and Misha to leave with him. He zipped up and turned towards the sink, freezing when he saw Jared leaning against the far wall, looking down at his hands. 

As if he knew Jensen was staring, Jared slowly looked up, a sly grin spreading across his face. 

“I’m glad you came.”

Jensen stared, watching Jared go to the door of the bathroom, sliding the lock into place. He resumed his spot against the wall, pulling a metal tin from his pocket. His eyes never left Jensen’s as he pulled out a rolled joint, lit the end, and took a deep drag. 

“Want some?” 

Still, Jensen stared. He was very much _not_ in control. He wanted to nod, for Jared to think he was cool and to like him, he wanted to walk over and accept the joint, take a hit and impress Jared with not choking. But his heart was pounding wildly and his feet refused to move. 

Jared took his silence for an answer and shrugged, lighting the end again to take another hit before twisting it between his fingers, placing it delicately back in the tin. Jared shoved it into the pocket of his jacket and pushed off the wall, coming to stand before Jensen. 

Jensen could see a smudge of red lipstick against Jared’s throat, though his lips weren’t stained with it. For some reason, that made Jensen smile. Jared wasn’t the kind of guy that would make an effort to remove the lipstick and it made him happier than he cared to admit that he’d refuted Gen’s attempts. 

He could barely breathe as Jared’s hands came to his hips to pull him in. Jensen fell against his chest, his hands gripping the edge of Jared’s jacket. 

“Tell me if I’m reading this wrong,” Jared whispered, his voice quiet and loud at the same time, his breath warm as it ghosted across Jensen’s lips. “Say the word and I’ll walk away.”

Jensen licked his lower lip, glancing up to meet Jared’s eyes. “No,” he whispered. 

Jared smiled again and leaned forward, crashing their lips together. Jensen gasped as he was suddenly spun, his back slamming into the wall Jared had been standing against moments before, Jared pressing in closer. He tasted like peppermint and punch and weed, and Jensen let his mouth fall open as Jared’s tongue slid against his bottom lip. 

Jensen had been kissed before, but never like this. He felt himself shaking beneath Jared’s touch, rolling his hips forward as Jared found the edge of his shirt and slipped his hands underneath. He shivered as Jared’s fingertips touched his skin and he reached forward to return the favor. 

The sounds of the dance outside and the occasional tug on the bathroom door faded into nothing as Jared slowly took him apart; tongue and teeth and heat ravished his mouth, his throat, while fingers pressed and pulled against Jensen’s sides. 

When Jared’s fingers slid down, gliding over Jensen’s erection, he moaned and nodded at the unspoken question. Jared moved quickly, popping open the top of Jensen’s dress pants and pulling them down enough so he could slip his hand beneath Jensen’s boxers. 

“Fuck,” Jensen groaned, his head falling back and smacking against the brick wall as Jared’s fingers wrapped tight and hot around his cock, pumping slowly as his mouth returned to the side of Jensen’s throat. He felt Jared smile and Jensen’s dick throbbed against his palm. 

“You’re so fucking hot like this,” Jared whispered against his skin, his fist moving sure and steady. “You have no idea how stunning you are.”

Jensen groaned in response, rolling his hips up into Jared’s grip before reaching forward for his jeans. He was too close, too uncoordinated to get Jared’s jeans open, but they were at least a size too big, allowing him slip his hand inside. Jared was hot and hard, the tip of his cock wet, and they both moaned together as Jensen wrapped around him and matched Jared’s pace. 

“Shit, I’m going-” Jensen bit his lower lip, squeezing Jared’s cock, “I’m going to come.”

“Do it, I got you,” Jared replied, finding his mouth again and licking inside. 

Jensen groaned and shuddered as he came, pumping his fist faster over Jared’s dick while his other hand clung to Jared’s ass. 

“Fuck,” Jared swore, his head falling to Jensen’s shoulder as he fucked his hips forward and came hot and wet over Jensen’s hand. 

They stood, leaning against each other in silence, breathing hard. Slowly, Jensen pulled his hand free from Jared’s pants, trying to keep the mess contained as Jared did the same. Silently, they went to the sink to wash their hands side by side, Jensen throwing Jared a small smile. 

Jared smiled back and then laughed, shaking his hands off and reaching for the paper towels. “Fuck, that was good,” Jared said, stretching his arms up and rolling his shoulders. “I feel like a million fucking bucks.”

“Yeah.” Jensen nodded his head, reaching to Jared’s side to get paper towels for himself. He dried his hands, then reached down to do up his pants, watching as Jared started for the door to unlock it. “So, um…” 

“We should probably get back out there,” Jared said with a shrug, “I bet your friends are wondering where the hell you got off too.” He let out a loud laugh then repeated, “Got off too. I didn’t even do that on purpose.”

Jensen swallowed hard, his stomach suddenly knotting and his face flushing. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a few.” 

Jared looked at him, meeting his eyes, but then nodded. He pulled open the door and slipped out, leaving Jensen alone in the bathroom. 

Slowly, Jensen moved to the back of the room, opening up the last stall. He sank down on the toilet, leaning forward to hold the door shut with both hands since the lock was jacked up too high and wouldn’t slide into place. He let his head fall between his extended arms and willed himself not to cry. 

Now that Jared was gone, the sounds of the dance came filtering through into the bathroom and Jensen couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take before they all knew. Jensen would be the next rumor, the next conquest. Maybe they were already talking about it. 

His stomach twisted as he suddenly felt shame for enjoying Jared’s touch as much as he had. Because really, what it meant to him was not what it meant to the other boy. Jared had walked away, smiling and satisfied, leaving Jensen alone to his inner turmoil. 

The burning behind his eyes made him angry, and he growled, pulling back slightly so the door would open an inch and he could slam it shut. The sound was loud and echoed, letting him know just how alone he was. Then, Jensen let himself cry.


End file.
